Bad Sex! What's Culture Got to Do With It?

Much of the information men receive on the subject of sexuality is often driven by a diverse culture passed down to generations of men which have affected the quality of sex women experience. Too often women go to bed hungry for that special feeling that their Beau felt during their love-making sessions.

The Cultural Experience
Men and women tend to fall into 2 types of cultures called Collectivism and Individualism. Most men fall into the class of an Indiviualist, while the woman falls into the Collectivist category. An Individualist tend to promote goals and achievements where each right is seen as most important. A Collectivist tend encouraged to put aside their own desires and aspirations aside for the benefit of others and seek a cooperative mind-set.


The Individualist Man: Men who display the characteristics of an Individualist--as it relates to sex--will display traits that are driven by An attitude of " I matter" and tend to have a "I got mine, You get yours," attitude

The Collectivist Woman: Women who display characteristics of a Collectivist have accepted the idea that it's OK if they don't climax during sex; "as long as he's satisfied," they say. However, most women today want more; and what it all balls down to is what they are willing to tolerate (sexually) from the guy they've chosen to share their gifts with.

You see, men come from many back grounds and cultures that impact their lives, their values, their decisions, and yes... their sexuality. Men and women alike, have received cultural information dictating what desires and behaviors are acceptable or unacceptable; what's normal and abnormal, and whats expected of them. What's normal for one culture may seem abnormal for another. What ever the reasoning, these cultural based values greatly affect the way men of today interact--sexually--with women, and how women respond to men.

Here are cultural examples from different parts of the world and is in no way a complete assessment of their values as it relate to sexuality. These are presented to show how diverse-yet similar in their view of sexuality.

• In the U.S. a love relationship has the cultural characteristics of "femininity" such as emotional expression, admittance of feelings, vulnerability, warmth and affection. However, men display cultural characteristics that contradict the characteristics of a love relationship--independence, strength, competent, assertive,and unemotional. Although American women have more voice than other women in other countries, they still seem to hold on to a bit of the fifties mentality when it comes to their own sexuality and pleasures verse the pleasures their partners experience.
• In the Islamic community, some suggest that men teach their wives about sex and to express their (men) likes and dislikes while encouraging their wives to be active partners--not so much for the woman's pleasure--but for pleasuring their husbands.
• In China, there is a double standards of sex between women and men, which included traditionally held norms such as, men should be aggressive and active, women passive and inactive; that men should have stronger sexual desires and women weaker; that men should be sexually experienced before marriage but women keep their virginity; that women should not ask too much for sex and should consider men's satisfaction as their own.

So how does culture equate to bad sex for women all over the world? You see... most women enjoy making love only in the context of a long term-term relationship. However, for men--we have the dysfunctional ability to enjoy sex without any deep emotional connections; a trait almost all men share.
We are clones regardless of our respective cultures and inherited values. It's the bottom line result of the cultural atmosphere in-which a man may have grown up.

Right or wrong; good or bad, the majority of men today and of the past had to create their own sexual path from their prior experiences. Information about sex and sexual behavior derived largely from street-corner conversation, movies, magazines, and finally--culture. Paths that were dimly lit by what men expected, and what we thought was acceptable and correct.

Cultural characteristics continues to hinder many men--sometimes unknowingly--from living up to his woman's sexual expectations, while women live in this cultural world--sacrificing her own pleasures, making it secondary to the pleasures of her spouse or partner. Guys, if you've been--knowingly or unknowingly--living a sexual life style from a cultural perspective and you wish to follow a different path; I trust that you will start a conversation--with your spouse or partner--that begins with you listening to and asking her.